James Baldwin says to be a “to be a negro in this country and to be relatively conscious is to be in a rage almost all the time.” I submit that to be a Black woman and leader in America, and to be relatively good at it, is to always maintain an unsteady balance between identity and perception against actual talent, skills, and abilities.
Read MoreGrowing up as a tomboy is difficult. Coming out and coming to terms with my sexuality in my teens was more difficult. Fighting the urge to conform to societal standards and finding confidence to be myself was beyond difficult. In the battle to choose between male and female, I was losing myself. It took time, a number of unfortunate situations, and a hair cut to help me figure out exactly who I was meant to be in this world.
Read MoreI hid behind perfectionism in order to not be seen. My particular brand of perfectionism was made up of self-righteous overachievement combined with a healthy dose of internal shame and contempt. Flawless and selfless on the outside, and indignant and sad on the inside. I found a way out through the practice of vulnerability…and then I fell off the vulnerability wagon.
Read MoreAfter steadily climbing the ranks and increasing my impact and influence, I abruptly lost my seat at the table. The 6 lessons that I learned about how to earn your seat at the decision-making table...and keep it.
Read MoreTo craft a path that is in alignment with your creative calling, you may need to ignore convention and external validation. How can you still find joy with an audience of one?
Read MoreI stayed in an abusive relationship for too long, and slowly became a shadow of the woman I wanted to be. When I finally began to focus on building myself back up, people were unhappy with the new me. The truth is, it was never a new me, it was the me who was buried so I could make other people feel more comfortable.
Read MoreIn the middle of my talk in front of 300 high school girls, I noticed a man in the audience staring at me with disdain. Despite the fact that the audience was engaged - laughing, nodding, ferociously taking notes - I couldn’t stop being distracted by this man. Was this the price of being seen? We are all struggling to feel seen, but what if people don’t like what they see?
Read MoreHow can we help someone feel seen: love. Helping my canary understand that I will love her anyway; I will love her no matter what.
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