Have Empathy & Be Curious

My advice for someone who is in the depths of a really hard transition: have self-empathy and curiosity.

1. Have empathy with yourself and allow yourself to mourn what you had (even if what you had didn’t make you that happy). Cry in your pajamas. Order takeout “too many” times. Binge watch your favorite shows. Vent to trusted friends. And know that you will show up in ways that do not reflect your best self. Sometimes the goal is just to survive with minimal damage to yourself or anyone else. In order to learn and grow from this experience, you have to think about it and really feel it – and really feeling it is hard. So be easy with yourself and don’t rush or over sanitize your healing.

2. Tap into your curiosity. Be curious about what you are feeling and why. Be curious about what fed you about your former life and what depleted you. Ask yourself big questions: What do you need? What is your vision for your best life? When do you feel most joyful and alive? What parts of yourself have you been hiding? What parts of yourself did you give away in order to have what you are now mourning? We often avoid these questions for fear of what it will stir up; well, if you are in the midst of the tornado anyway, might as well stir some things up. Each time you begin to feel the pangs of distress, meet that distress with curiosity. Instead of pushing away the pain, fear, and discomfort, begin to explore it and listen to what it has to teach you.

For more from Craft Your Path Founder Jacqueline Misla, be sure to follow her on Instagram at @JacquelineMIsla.